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Saturday, May 13, 2017

Reason for my hope

From my earliest memories I was aware of "good & evil". I was taught by god fearing parents, but somehow I knew in my heart when I had done wrong; whether they told me or not. I was also aware that I choose evil at times, with no regard for the consequences. There was a part of my nature that at times I couldn't seem to control.
To get back to my parents. I discovered that if I confessed what I had done wrong, and told the truth; my parents, who depending on the offense sometimes punished me and sometimes not; would forgive me! As life went on that forgiveness and restoration to thier favor, came to mean more to me than anything material that they gave me, or could ever give me. Time went on. Knowing the awful feeling of guilt, I still would sometimes find myself up too my neck in what I knew was wrong. I wanted to be free from that crushing weight of guilt that always came evetually from knowing I had lost my "right standing" in thier eyes. It was a viscous cycle which I started to realize I couldn't free myself from on my own. We said our prayers every night, asking "the Lord" to keep my soul, or take it if I died before I awoke. And we prayed for everyone we knew. My brother and I sometimes had quite the list of people we asked the Lord to bless, and requests for good things for ourselves and all those we prayed for. More too come soon.